Monday, March 30, 2009

If Facebook says so...

...it must be true!

Diane Bisgeier

Diane took the How "New Yorker" Are You quiz and the result is You Are 100% New York! Congrats!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Doctor's Orders

I like a high-protein diet. I just wasn't aware that certain sources were more effective than others.


Did I hear that word at 1:45 right?

Fidelity


Derelicte's catwalk debut

So while it is true I can give ultimatums, I am also a sucker when I fall in love with something that stays true.

Take Zoolander as a case in point: perhaps the pivotal point in that movie which ensnared my eternal affection was the introduction of the Derelicte fashion line, inspired by the homeless.

The vanity-zation of the grave was too delectable not to take permanent residence in my heart.

And then I went to Brasil...and the irony became disturbingly real.


The "Favela" line of high-end home furnishings. Yeah, really.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Breakups


Often I encounter a turn in a movie where I simply can no longer suspend disbelief and, consequently, part ways with the entire movie. Few top-of-mind examples:

V for Vendetta. When the Masked Man's cave is exposed, the absurdity of the whole pretext of the film suddenly becomes clear. The scales fall from my eyes. It's over.

The Kite Runner. 2 scenes conspire here: First, when it's revealed that the childhood friends are really brothers (="Luke, I'm your father!"). Second, when the one offending Taliban character they encounter in the entire city of Kabul just happens to be the same tormenting bully antagonist from childhood. Statistically astounding! Again = over.

And now, this same intolerance threshold just kicked in for Facebook, my once-beloved platform of self-expression.

The trigger? A friend invite from Phil Ting. When I saw the invite, I KNEW that name was familiar. A college friend? Work?....and then I realized: none other than ....the San Francisco City Assessor-Recorder!

I think Phil realizes that, like the meter maid, a letter from him is never fun. So he's trying to make up for it by a Facebook Friendship? I don't think so.

It was a beautiful thing while it lasted, Facebook. But I think it's over.

.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

For REALS?



From: My Student Loan Servicer

Dear DIANE BISGEIER,
Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have qualified for the NextStudent program by making on-time payments on your CONSOLIDATION LOAN. Beginning with your next installment, we will lower the interest rate on your eligible loans by 1 percentage point for the remaining term.

Sincerely....


My life-motto has been:
"If it's too good to be true, it probably is." Could it be that none of my loans are "eligible"? Or that my "remaining term" just expired? Or...?

No, it's a new season. Here's to suspending disbelief!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Pet Peeves




Peeves. Annoyances. Rant-inducing behaviors. Facial-tick-causing things of life. Because these are really what this blog is all about.

A few top-of-mind ones of late:

1) When the driver I'm with approaches an intersection with a green light and feels the need to ....slow?? .....down.......

2) When the person at the gym uses the common equipment as a nest. And, after I efficiently use all other equipment in the hopes of the offender eventually moving on, I finally ask to work in and s/he suddenly claims to have "just one more set."

3) When someone interrupts me. It's effectively being lied to: the "listener" doesn't really listen despite asking you a question.

And anyone reading this far knows that I am not keen on being stifled.

Addendum:
AT&T. If you really need elaboration...:

AT&T Inc. said Thursday it will start selling iPhones without requiring a two-year contract, but they will cost $400 more ...The new phones will still be "locked" to AT&T and won't work with any other cellular carrier unless they're modified. AT&T will only activate them on the regular iPhone plans, which include a $30 monthly charge for data access. Prepaid service will not be available.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

It's ba-ack...


Actually, attempts to pull me into the ponzi-scheme-o'-the-day haven't really subsided; I just chose to refrain from posting all of them that have poured in since I first posted on this lamentable practice in June '07...

But today's email forced my hand; I must vent...

To: (impersonal dist list here)

Hey there!
I would be remiss if I didn't let ya'll know about the special MonaVie has going through the end of March. They are waiving the normal $39 start up enrollment fee, so now you can buy MonaVie at wholesale prices. The beauty of this promo is that there is no purchase commitment, no hidden fees, just access to the lowest possible price on the product for one year! It has certainly kept me busier than usual. Good thing I'm drinking it to keep my energy levels up! Rock on acai berry!

So if you are interested, let me know and I can give you further info...just wanted to be sure I let everyone in on a good deal! No pressure....
Here's to your health!
Blessings,

My burning ontological question: does the fact that something is wholesale make it intrinsically better?

The rhetorical question is: will MonaVie's salesforce, in its need to stay amped to promote the beverage, be sufficient as a consumer base for the product? Let's lift a glass to derivative, self-referential economics!

Monday, March 09, 2009

Recurring themes




I'm consistently mesmerized by denial...Idiocracy...and my current favorite, euphemisms.

How fitting that the very word itself sounds so much better than, say, obfuscation.
Cap industries’ emissions of the gases blamed for climate change? Representative Henry A. Waxman of California, who leads the House Energy and Commerce Committee, will have to contend with dissent on a panel with Democrats from coal and manufacturing states.

“The legislative process requires compromise and being open to different alternatives,” Mr. Waxman said.

In defense of Henry though, I'm not sure I'd want to say, "We're copping out on this one."

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Surely this must be a *lagging* indicator....





I was so eager to check out NY's Museum of American Finance, "the nation’s only public museum of finance, (whose) mission is to promote financial literacy, and to empower people to better understand risk and reward in order to make more effective financial decisions."

But what are we to make of the "Current Exhibit" page?


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