1 year + 1 day post-op!

Whoda thunk? Amazing. Only fitting I should go for a run, and then do my 3rd inside climb....how fun! Today I'm solidly at level 5.8.

And is it me, or were climbing walls inspired by Mr. Potatohead??

"Impressive"....

Last year, I posted a bit about euphemisms (love that word). In addition to that instance, the same aforementioned physician had earlier referred to my feet as "advanced"....a term which should normally evoke pride but, when coming from a surgeon, connotes something a bit different.

Monday night my should-be carefree visit to Burke Williams Day Spa (thanks to the infinite generosity of my dear friend Jessica) was slightly irked by the comment from my masseuse: my back is "quite impressive." Of course, initially my mind leapt to "yes, of course I'm buff" but alas, she was referring to the "impressive" degree of knots she barely had time to scratch the surface (so to speak) on....ok, on to the burning question: does a knot positively impact body-fat composition?

10K has a whole new meaning

 For me, 10K used to mean running a 6.1 mile race..now it means, walking 5 miles....I don't think I'm there. And the interesting thing is: it's been SO FREEING not to feel obligated to work out! So while I'm extraordinarily grateful for healing, it will soon eliminate the excuse I have for being sedentary and put the responsibility back on me. There are, however, worse problems to have for sure!

(by the way, my sister qualified for the Boston Marathon today - can't I just glob on to her workouts for a while?)

Day 1 in real shoes and suddenly, I *like* Birks!

 ...because it's all relative. Surgical booties, Birks? Hmmm.  And now they have these very "chic" clog styles. I ripped the box open last night and today was the test drive - walking up to Market Street. Feeling hot. Lovin' the Birks.

And I thought it was because I was attractive

All those stares on the street - it's either because:

Theory #1: I've suddenly become completely amazingly hot, or

Theory #2: Walking at .000004 miles an hour downtown and wearing some stupendously odd looking black booties draws attention in its own merit.

At least I also garner soft smiles of sympathy when people stare down unashamedly at my feet. Except for the one woman on MUNI today - she was about 28, completely healthy, and completely miffed when I begged her to let me sit down as my feet were getting tired. She said "ok" but sure wasn't communicatin' it! I think she was probably distraught from being on the wrong MUNI line; she's a #1-California-headed-from-Pac-Heights (ok, or a #38-from-the-Marina)-to-her-Banana-Republic-office-downtown all the way. The sacrifices we ask of people!!

the walking wounded are not alone!

Gus and I share our war stories of foot surgery @ Russ' annual Tree Trimming party. While we didn't partake in the salsa or funk dancing, we still had a good time.

another walk!

In the brisk, crisp and fogless, windless San Francisco evening. Pure delight. I was so motivated to use these muscles (that are literally sore from lack of use!) that I ascended many hills in the 'hood. It was delightful to breathe the fresh air and to take everything in: looking off to the gorgeous SF skyline to the east, and to the rolling, home-lit dotted hills on the west.

I was able to venture down many quaint side streets I don't normally take the time (or effort) to see on my runs, and hope I can claim them as "my" neighborhood ('cuz they sure are nice).

So, while my feet did tingle (and have a few sharp twinges here and there) as I was nearing the end of the loop going down Castro street, it was worth every block: oxygen and movement on a clear SF evening are such gifts!!

Today I went for a...

WALK! Albeit a slow shuffle, but a walk! A walk! The crisp air made it the best lunch hour *ever*! I love my 'hood.

And I'm a little scared at how much I've 'adapted' to working from home. Will I be able to "re-enter" next week??

Euphemisms

eu‧phe‧mism  /ˈyufəˌmɪzəm/[yoo-fuh-miz-uhm] – noun
1. the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.

I like that this definition comes from the UN-abridged dictionary....

Anyway. Today provided a wonderful example of euphemism. It was another follow-up appointment with my doctor, who:

1) Was very positive at the progress of my feet; and
2) Offered this euphemism:

"It's really surprising, how cautious you are being... given your demographic."

Some alternative translations:
"You are acting wimpier than any grandmother would."
"You are a woos."
"Get over it."

I spent a moment assessing whether I should feel ashamed or embarassed (hey, I teach aerobics!). I admit I've been careful but come on: who wants to mess up surgery like that? It's your *feet*. So, I chose to put the shame asiide and instead to feel encouraged. I am getting better! There is light at the end of tunnel!

So I opted to walk back as much as I could to the MUNI (ok, i took the bus for 1 block). And I had some nice chuckles along the way. "For your demographic." Nice.

Safety in numbers

So I'm grateful for the discussion forum I found on myfootshop.com -- the community of people there are so encouraging. I WILL get better. My butt and body ache from lack of activity. I'm going nuts being on my butt. I'm frustrated I can't be at work for meetings I want to attend.

But it WILL get better. And soon, I can click my heels (or birks) 3 times and make it so!

Yes, it is possible to over-do it

Monday November 20:
All I wanted was to get out....despite all of the ways my friends are getting me out: driving me to dinner, to church, to baptisms, to Thanksgiving dinners...I just wanted a little "night on the town" - a 2-block walk to the Bi-Rite market, for heaven's sake.

Of course, I failed to factor in the fact that once I was *at* Bi-Rite I would need to be standing around shopping. Oops. So despite the walk-breaks on the way back - at Dolores Park Cafe and the bus stop...I was POOPED by the time I got back.

Tuesday November 21:
My friend Laura takes me to the doctor. This is a momentous day: I get sutures removed and license to take (brace yourself) a SHOWER!!! Pretty darned exciting. I mean, I appreciate Wet Wipes (trust me, I *really* do now!), but the idea of having *water* be the cleansing agent for my body was starting to sound really appealing. That was, of course, until it hit home that I would be standing on my UNSECURED feet -- free of the security and safety of the surgical booties! Eeeipes!! I kept having visions of me falling in the shower...bad imagery - don't go there - visualize being clean and DONE with the ordeal. I finally made it, but resolved to sit on my butt for future showers.

Sadly, after those two episodes, my feet were finished. The next two evenings (why is it so bad in the evening?) I slept 2-3 hours each owing to the THROBBING pain in my feet.

Will I ever get better? When is it ok to "stretch" things and walk a bit? Stand up? Or do I need to be paranoid aboutit all? Can I ever imagine returning to work or being normal? Discouragement sets in!

NETFLIX is awesome...so is heat

Kelly knew it and ordered me two free months. I've watched Citizen Kane, An American in Paris and Cold Mountain.

I've also rediscovered my heater: I had written it off based on the estimate of the inspector when I bought the place - he said it was history. And the first furnace guy out here gave me a $5K estimate to replace it and the ducts. IN the absence of the nirvana washer/dryer, I resolved to wear sweaters and shiver.

But the washer/dryer repair saga has dragged out and the idea of a working furnace was getting more attractive every day. But I wanted a second opinion! And the guy from Apollos Heating was either lazy or beyond honest: he assured me the furnace and ducts were fine and it was probably my air filter - like $90. I took the filter out, cleaned it for now (though the junk on it made me VERY nervous - if am still fertile, that may have changed things-!).

And now I use it and it WORKS! I can be WARM at home! Which is totally great because I am about as pasty and vitamin D-deprived as one can imagine. I've even calibrated the 40 minute window we get sunshine in our gorgeous garden (part of the beauty comes from the foliage which, alas, can block the sunlight). It's from 11am - noon. So when I can, I run out and sit in the glare and drink it up. "Vitamin D, pour all over me baby!" Like a cockroach or a Brit deprived of fresh air and sun. Sigh.

People are so awesome

Laundry. Food. Visits. Bible studies. I'm surrounded by so many awesome people. It is nice.

The Parking Lot People

An interesting sideline to this story are the Parking Lot People: they are the shiny, happy, pleasantville attendants in the parking lot inside the 1920s art deco medical building. They are ALWAYS nice. ALWAYS helpful. And it only costs like $3 to park there.

My friend Kelly remarked that every car inside the garage was either black or gray. Hers is gray. It started to feel a little weird!

Post-op visit #3: NO MORE PINS!

Before the surgery, my doc told me I wouldn't have to have those screws I'd been readin g about. "I don't leave anything in your foot." Sounded good to me. So it was so strange on that first visit last week when I saw these little thingys protruding from my feet (in between my big & 2nd toe) - what on EARTH could those be?

"Those are your pins." Ah yes - the Pins. No screws - but pins.

Well, I suppose that makes sense, given that they are breaking your feet- your bones gotta know how to grow back! Such detail was not really where I wanted to "go" before the surgery, but now that it's done, bring it on. They broke the bones and reset them. Yippee. No wonder my feet are all black & blue. Suffice to say that when I cognitively was *aware* of the pins, that I became very very clear as to why I had that sharp kind pf pain in a triangular area at the top of my foot. Before learning this, I chalked it up to an amorphous sort of "healing" in "that area" - well now it was crystal clear. And made this day all the more meaningful: the pins were going to be removed! No more pin pain!

Tobee, unlike Kelly and like most people we know, opted not to sit in the room and look. I took one last picture of my feet with pins in them and then thrust my head back while the doc went to work. And it WAS work: it was not a gentle removal of an acupuncture-thin needle. It was a YANK of a strong, thick, sturdy needle that had made its home inside my foot for a while. It was not fun. It surely could not have been pretty.

Once that painful ordeal was done, the prickly pain of pulling out the stitches was NOTHING - heck, it was only skin deep. And the doc then confided that he hates doing the pin thing. "I dislike it more than you, trust me."

Glad he told me when it was done.

You mean I can't just yank this off your foot?

That must have been what my doctor was thinking - otherwise why WOULD he have done that during my 2nd visit? See doc, the thing is, these post-surgical booties have velcro at the bottom AND THE TOP of the foot ...I would have THOUGHT you'd known that from all the patients you see...but you surely must have, well, FORGOTTEN...or, forgot that I just had surgery? Peeling a bootie off the top of a post-bunionectomy foot is not the most kind gesture.

After I got over that shock, it was, however, nice to see the x-rays of me pre-op and on my first post-op visit. That is also when we got to see the "K-Wire" pin inside my foot. My friend Kelly was pretty excited to take it all in. She's a doctor wanna-be. Who else would want to sit IN the room with you and see your Frankensteinian feetsies? Every time they take the bandages off, I am reminded of how little I am bathing and feel like a mummy. My feet are essentially mummys' feet. I have one over on Steve Martin: I gotta "condo mada stona" AND the feet to match.

The Return to the Fortress

This is what my friend Julie named my new place....which has, as my friend Kelly later recited to me (after heaving up a backpack full of groceries) FIFTY-ONE steps (I counted 54 later because I included some shifts & turns she gracefully omitted).

Yes, my friend Lisa came by the Woods, partook in scrumptious Shirley-made fare and took me back to the Fortress, which I ascended gently and gingerly on my derriere. Whoever does crutches UP stairs, let me know 'cuz I don't get that. Though I did ditch the crutches a few days prior anyway - they HURT!

Lisa took great care to make sure things were positioned where I needed them to be: chair in the kitchen, chair in front of the bathroom sink, blankets on the front couch (I have a futon flat on the ground in the bedroom - the bedroom set didn't survive the move), and then it was just me. Here.

I have this thing about sleeping IN your bed....so I relented and moved my stuff back there. And I survived!

The drift from gratitude to impatience

It so easily happens! We start to lose sight of all of God's blessings and want to take the reins again. I could see that happening to me as I began to resist the time I was in...to resent not being able to move....to want to complain more readily than sing His praises for all He'd done. The human condition persists.

Follow up appointment #1 and bigger lessons learned

It was great to get a "good report" from the doctor...or at least, as good as I could surmise. He's pretty poker-faced and tight-lipped when I try to ascertain where I stand in the spectrum of things. He finally gave in to saying I was an "A+" at this post-op phase, so I let it go at that.

Even better than the visit was the time I got to spend with Mary Flaherty, who, like Lani, barely knows me and yet made the tiem and effort to serve me (in fact, she is mentoring Lani right now so she is effectively the patron saint of our small group :). She got me there very early, was careful to make sure I was supported at every move, and even invited me back to their beautiful beach-view home in pacifica when we returned before Shirley was back from her errands. It was a great opportunity to share in one another's lives more...something we sadly just don't do in the normal course of things.

That is one big learning from this surgery: that the "normal course of things" squeezes out so much opportunity for blessings: taking time to be with others, serving one another, and - for me - being able to RECEIVE the gifts of others and the gift of "non-productive" time. Lord, let me retain these ever-so-important lessons.

(the other interesting learning being that, even when life is UN-scheduled, we can still choose to squeeze God out by a busy and distracted mind....ah we do need His help so much!!)

Good thing we had the elections

Otherwise I would have been mind-bendingly bored to tears with all of the 'normal' programming television has to offer us these days. Instead, I was able to finally see some checks and balances restored to the U.S. government for the first time in six years. Remember those? We learned about them in elementary school, but we have lacked them for a while. Nice to have them back.