Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Discern-rential Calculus

Geeks: I love geeks! Consider, for example, the 2002 findings from Scotland academics:

ß =
(An)2 x d(S + 1)

√L x (Vo)2


  • An is the number of servings of alcohol
  • S is the smokiness of the area on a scale of 0 - 10
  • L is the lighting level of the area, measured in candelas per square meter, in which 150 is normal room lightning
  • Vo is Snellen visual acuity, in which 6/6 is normal and 6/12 is the lower limit at which someone is able to drive
  • d is the distance between the observer and the observed, measured in meters [source: BBC News]

The formula works out a "beer goggle" score ranging from 1 to 100+. When ø = 1, the observer is perceiving the same degree of beauty he or she would perceive in a sober state. At 100+, everybody in the room is a perfect 10.

I, too, yearn to deconstruct my desires, sentiments and choices so neatly. For example, I know that my standards in food considerably deteriorate (or shall I just say "change" to stay all copasetic?) when I've just done a spin class...when the options at a certain hour are perhaps I could even assign a relative weighting to X watts exerted, contending with a constraint of Y miles in available edible options and Z minutes of time elapsed since aforesaid watts were exerted....

But would all of this knowledge really change my behavior? I think it would just make the goggles that much more transparent. And transparency often leads to accountability, which typically aspires to some sort of behavior change.

*Behavior change.* Guess I'll be keepin' those goggles on. With my eyes wide open, of course.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

That Thing, that Thing, that iPad Thing

Way back in technohistorical January, The Onion gave us a glimpse of just how insanely amazing the upcoming Thing Apple was preparing to launch would be....

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

My favorite quote: "if it's shiny and from Apple, I want it!"

Now that the infamous iPad has launched - and subsequently skyrocketed - I want it. I want it. I don't know why, but I just KNOWS I wants it!

Of course, there are real business and consumer drivers behind this demand. iMedia Connection did a nice piece on just why the iPad is really a big deal. And I even personally corroborated in the froth by serving as one of the coordinators of an iPad developers' event last month.

But I have yet to really USE an iPad, and yet my knee-jerk reaction to a friend's "Sent by my iPad" signature was nonetheless: I WANTS ONE!

We always knew Steve Jobs was a genius. But many in these parochial Silicon Valley technodigerati circles don't realize that Lauryn Hill got it first: