Smile And Nod

I learned the value of this Standard Operating Procedure from a colleague of mine at Schwab. It entails never pushing back regardless of how unreasonable the request, and only later surfacing the constraints. That way you become the invaluable go-to person and never get pegged as a naysayer.

This morning I embraced the SAN SOP when I agreed to join my friend's running group.

Let's clarify: I run. I just don't do "endurance" runs. But, I figured, how hard can a little extra distance be?

Only in the car - en route, committed - did John throw out these remarks:

• "If you studied the trail posted online..." ("study" the trail? ah...right...)
• "The grade ascends consistently for the first 6 miles." (note the use of "first")
• "There is an extension option because the main course is only 11 miles." (note the use of "only")
• "The fact that it's trail running sort of selects out who will be there." (I had no idea what this specifically referred to, but got the sense that trails must be scary)

Smile And Nod. Smile And Nod. No problem!

But, in merciful face-saving fate, the Running Demon of Sun*Sans*Shade led even the "ultra" runners to condescend to their own humanity and join me in stopping at various points along the way.

So really, I am just like them. I could do a 50K in my sleep. Dreams, that is.

This is not me.

Maslowian cosmic crises

Sauntering over to the gym with ample time for weightlifting before the spin class that Lily was so keen to have me sub for her, I breathed easy. Confidently.

Then 5 minutes before class, I ran into Rob - the "other" spin instructor - and immediately grasped that...

I needed to beam to the club ACROSS TOWN to teach.

Where is space/time travel when you need it?

Grabbing my bag, my computer and my bling (for Monte Carlo Casino Night later on), I dragged my sorted state of affairs through streets downtown, straggling along in cycling cleats, workout gear, and fur coat. En route, charitable onlookers picked up my CD case that dropped out of my overstuffed bag. Thankfully, I was able to procure da BOMB cabbie who rushed me across town in 13 minutes. I barely escaped after snatching some personal items that had fallen out onto the seat ...

Busting into the studio, I thought all systems were "go" as I came upon the students dutifully spinning away (and miraculously not snarling at me being 25 minutes late) ....until I realized that....

....one of my prized Tommy Hilfiger sandals was gone!

...leading me to ponder:

How on earth would I bling at the Civic Center later?

Well, Jo-Anne (being her generous and together self) provided auxiliary bling for my feet. But the best news of all was that I dared to push all thoughts of my prized shoe lying on Sacramento Street or on the back seat of aforesaid cab aside and boldly go beyond the improbable:

Upon brand verification, the first gym confirmed my precious sandal was in their posession!

Livin' the high life.

.

Thanks to Jo-Anne, order was restored and I was able to bling out at Civic Center and even snatch up a few spa treatments in the Silent Auction....for The Cause, of course.

Two steps forward....

And that would be which humans, being resourceful in exactly what way?

I was quite aware that the trip down from my mountaintop customer service experience today was inevitable...but it felt so soon....and the descent, so far...

I know it's possible to order prescriptions online...have them sent to you...the whole internet thing and all....I've done it. And yet today, I knew, in the deepest recesses of my profoundly intuitive self that I would have to - for some cosmic reason as yet unknown to me - make a live visit to the Kaiser Pharmacy for my first transaction.

Entering the pharmacological SuperStore (Costco meets Epcot) was in itself awe-inspiring: a wing for Member Services (that came later), a cafeteria, health kiosks, a bakery (I'm sure they're serving a preventative form of sugar) all left my head spinning. When I managed to find my way to the pharmacy, I was confronted with Grand Central Station-like billboards advertising whose prescriptions were ready (felt a bit un-HIPAA-ish to me but perhaps data transmitted in open-air is less regulated).

In any case, all went somewhat as hoped - prescription received by doc, filled, waiting - until the Moment of Truth came: payment.

CONEXIS, the administrator (= money gatherer) of the COBRA insurance coverage on behalf of my former employer, had no issue taking my $800+ in cash I paid to continue coverage and updating its website to say I was now in "covered" status.

But they missed a little detail: they didn't tell my insurance provider. Which, I learned to my astonishment, was no vagary but actually standard 'practice': the customer service rep admitted that his whole raison d'etre is fielding calls from people trying to fill their first prescription or make their first doctor's visit (you know, get health services), only to get denied service because....

...patients are supposed to manually tell the provider that CONEXIS says we're covered and...

I'm clinging to the assumption that the ".org" means that CONEXIS makes absolutely NOTHING on these transactions.

I believe you.

Doctor's Orders

I like a high-protein diet. I just wasn't aware that certain sources were more effective than others.

Did I hear that word at 1:45 right?

Some marketing advice

Can you suggest opportunities for improvement in THIS promotion??:

As a Gift for your Birthday, please accept 15% off on any services, procedures or supplements including colon hydrotherapy....

P.S. Don't eat too much cake and ice cream!

Sometimes price just doesn't matter

Lends new meaning to the economic term "elasticity of demand"...

Spin vs. Step

One of my most favorite clips is George Carlin's comparison of baseball & football. I will never approach the excellence of this genius comarative piece - but, after years of teaching step and now having just learned to teach spin, I am taking a very remote stab:

Step students arrive early to set up their steps and glare at you if you are 2 minutes late.
Spin students don't care if the instructor is there when they arrive; they just hop on their bikes and start pedaling furiously, paying no mind to when the spin instructor saunters in 5 minutes late and takes his/her time setting up the bike while the students vigorously drive their own workouts.


Step instructors cue each and every motion in advance, breathlessly fitting in techniques on form and posture while simultaneously verbalizing each movement as well as thinking ahead to the next 8-count.
Spin instructors stroll around the room, shouting out a cue every 3-4 minutes if they need to while the students furiously sweat and go forth, heads' down.

Step students will tell you if you've missed a beat or miscued once out of literally hundreds of cues within the class. They will tell you this as you are trying to cue and keep the class going for the other 15 students who will grimace if you miss a beat for them.
Spin students will gratefully embrace the opportunity to have worked off 5% of their body fat in one class while you looked at your notes and fixed your bike and music in between the total of 5 sets of instructions you gave for the entire class.


Step students will demand modifications and alternatives.
Spin students will self-adjust.


Step instructors must monitor their class for heart rate and rates of perceived exertion, taking time out to assess the class and explain complex, customized heart rate calculations to students while they impatiently wait for the class to recommence.
Spin instructors simply demand that their students buy and wear their own heart rate monitors and adjust their idividual workouts accordingly.


Step students will demand new and increasingly demanding choreography.
Spin students will have no idea that you simply rearranged a series of hills & flats from your last class...because really, isn't that all you have to play with anyway?

1 year + 1 day post-op!

Whoda thunk? Amazing. Only fitting I should go for a run, and then do my 3rd inside climb....how fun! Today I'm solidly at level 5.8.

And is it me, or were climbing walls inspired by Mr. Potatohead??

What's real?

I came across an absolutely hysterical - or is it tragic? - parody of Linden Lab's Second Life. It's one of those things I keep looking at over & over because I can't stop laughing (albeit the irreverence).

I remember when SPINNING first came out - I thought, "How absurd! Why would anyone prefer a dark, stuffy, confined room over the real thing?" And here I am, (x) years later, subjecting myself to that very instrument of torture I was so quick to condemn earlier.

[Is it just me, or is it actual lipids I wipe off of the floor at the end of class??].

I AM CONCERNED

In my previous post about Cafe Gratitude, I wrote, "I often thought it was too good to be true that body pierced hippy types could run a business"...alas: my monthly credit card posting from my vegan indulgence revealed that they failed to include my tip in the total....I hope this does not forebode an end similar to fate of my beloved Urban Forage-!

Investment or expense?

I prefer to think of indulgences in organic fare as investments - in my long-term health. Seeing as the only sure way to go IS preventative health these days, I'm starting to be ok with what I once thought was 80% rationalization! Check out Michael Moore's latest movie (the excuse that he's "biased" doesn't go far with me - I mean, who isn't??)....

I AM GRATEFUL

On an ongoing basis, for the love and grace of God. But most recently and more temporally, for Cafe Gratitude! Let me explain--

A few years ago, a phenomenal culinary delight for organic, raw vegan folks thrived on Valencia Street - it was called Urban Forage and it was a haven for that .005% of the population that seeks out raw, organic, vegan food. I often thought it was too good to be true that body pierced hippy types could run a business...and alas, I was right: it flamed out in less than a year. I mourned for quite a while. Then my friend Kelley gave me a gift certificate to a place in the inner mission called Cafe Gratitude...I could never bring myself to using it because I never thought anything else would match up to the heights that Urban Forage took me.

Luckily, my friend Antonio - another health foodie - assured me we should meet there. And now my pocketbook will never be the same. Ok, there is a "forced feel-good" vibe that sort of permates the place (for example, there is a "question of the day" that goes along the lines of, "what do your friends love most about you?"; and all menu items begin with "I AM..." - I assume it is not heretic....) - but - the fare is to die for! I went twice this weekend. Somebody stop me!!